Dealing with Heartbreaks 5

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Still the Victim Mentality?

At some point in your life, you must have been a victim of something. I remember those days when I was punished for offences I didn’t commit. I always felt very bad and unfairly treated. If I had my way, I would have loved to be able to prove that I was innocent.

During those moment of accusation, it was daunting, frustrating and very painful. I felt powerless and hopeless. Even after those moments have passed, the feelings always stay. It remains and acts as an anchor in other areas of life. I had to deliberately reverse it’s meanings.

Along the line, you can choose whether to remain a victim or move on. You can’t really change the events, you can only attach a new meaning and decide where to go from there.

It’s not your fault that your parent had a divorce but you have to make sure it doesn’t happen to you also.

If you were hurt in the past, it’s not your fault. It’s unfair and degrading but as frustrating and painful it might be, the only responsibility you owe yourself is moving forward gradually to heal, to become better and to start a new journey.

I notice that when Jesus wants to perform a miracle, he usually starts by asking if you are sure or what you really want. That’s because he needs your full permission to proceed with the healing/Miracle process in your life.

Do you want to get better?

I’m sure you would have a list of reasons why it will be difficult. You were cheated, you were embarrassed, you were betrayed and disappointed, and so many other reasons but remaining in that stead is a part of the victim mentality which you don’t deserve.

When I started trying to move on, I had countless reasons not to. I kept waiting for a “Why”. “What did I do?” “Why did he leave me?” I needed a strong reason but it was holding me back. I had to face the reality and began a new journey.

You can either choose to continue to find reasons why you can’t heal and love again or begin a step to work on yourself and avoid repeating the same chain.

What has been holding you back? Why has it been difficult?

We can talk about it privately. Reach out to me.

Nike Adedokun


About Nike Adedokun

Nike Adedokun helps singles create solutions to their failing relationships. She is a Master Practitioner of Neuro- Linguistic Programming and Results Coach. She also helps women overcome heartbreaks which she does in her online Program called “The Heartbreak Recovery Program”. She is a passionate writer, author, speaker and columnist who teaches on relationship, real life issues and sexuality. She is the Author of four books “Relationship Guardrails for Him and Her”, “The journey to a Masturbation free life”, “Ants and Flies Flow: How attractions starts!”, and DO-IT-YOURSELF in 7 days: A step by step guide to overcoming heartbreaks.
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